Here are some reasons when an open relationship starts falling off and some suggestions on how you can still hope to make it work.
How long has it been since you and your partner have blown each other minds? If it’s been a while and you’re thinking that the fire’s died out, you might consider having an “open relationship.” This means that you and your partner are free to do whatever and whoever you want.
It sounds ideal for folks whose love is a dying ember. But does it really work? Although there are some happy open couples, most psychologists and marriage therapists will tell you that they don’t. Jealousy issues are only the beginning. Here are a few things to think about before you start fooling around.
Jealousy And Paranoia
When most people considering opening things up, they usually visualize their own new freedom, but don’t think deeply about their partner’s! Your man or woman is going to be getting busy with other people… are you sure you can handle that? Most people would say “yes,” but it’s something to think about carefully.
In some cases, men or women have felt that something changed as soon as their partner got down with somebody else. Although they were expecting it, and they were ready to deal with jealousy issues, once it actually happens things seem to change. It can be the final nail in the coffin of a relationship dying a slow death.
Getting attached is an even bigger problem. It’s one thing to know that your significant other is hanging out with an insignificant other, but it’s often the case that serious feelings develop. When this happens, your association is effectively over.
How Do You Make It Work?
Still, some people make their open relationship work. How do they do it? They do it by having realistic expectations. They know what is going to happen, and they also know why they wanted to open up their relationship.
They also still keep each other their number one priority, at least emotionally. Successful couples keep open their lines of communication, and they continue to treat each other with love and respect. There are couples out there who have made an open relationship work.
Alternatives That Might Work Even Better
If you’re not sure about opening things up, why not try to get the spark back? That’s been more successful for most people. How about a candlelight dinner, some wine and a little Marvin Gaye to get things rolling? Why not head to your local “bookstore” and see what kind of things they have to offer? Whatever it takes to restart the fire, you’ll be glad you did it.
Before you decide to change the rules and potentially destroy your marriage, first try opening the lines of communication. Tell your partner how you feel, and why you’re not happy. There’s a good chance they feel like something’s lacking as well.